How to Play Chinese Hats (short story)

How to Play Chinese Hats
   - A Short Story -
         2015


To Play

Somehow, you find yourself in a dim and smoky room with no entrance, exit or windows, without knowing how 
you got there or even where you've come from. In front of you are a group of Chinese gentlemen shuffling 
around what looks to be traditional black Chinese hats styled after the Ming dynasty, on a circular chestnut 
wood table. Surprisingly, you find the same type of hat in your very own hand when you look down.
   You are invited to join in, but not knowing the manner of the game or its rules, you decline, and receive 
a few disparaging looks because of your decision. The group of men shrug-off your refusal and continue 
playing regardless, and largely ignore you.
   As you watch and the game proceeds, you notice that the point seems to be to get as many hats as possible.
How many? You don't know, but more is surely better - if judging by the looks on everyone's faces whenever 
anyone wins a new Chinese hat is anything to go by. You also notice that the hats have a rather strange 
property, they can change size so they can slot inside each other perfectly, no matter how many there are.
You've never seen a hat like that before you admit to yourself, as you stroke your chin.
After a while, you begin to feel a bit bored by just watching the game, and there's nowhere else to go or be 
that you can think of. You can scarcely remember if there ever even had been. With the encouragement and 
smiles of those present at the table, you relax a little, and what's more, they all chip in and give you a 
total of eight hats to begin playing with, including your own hat.
   After a few rounds of the game where others inform you whether you've won or lost a hat, you realize it's 
not so bad after all. Everyone's so friendly, and the man with the most hats in the game passes you a piece 
of the big round cake in the center of the table, and some sweet tea to wash it down with. Not only that, but
 you're now up by five hats.
As the game proceeds, you forget about how or why you ended up in the room, so focused are you on playing and
 getting more hats. But, after a while, you notice something curious. You notice that getting the hats isn't 
just about winning each round in the game. No. Sometimes, you can get more hats in other ways.
A vigorous looking upright gentleman, not much older than thirty-five by the looks of it, suddenly stands.
   He begins to tell everyone at the table why he likes them all so much, and extols their apparent virtues.
The power of his emotional oratory moves all present, you included, and everyone decides to each give him an 
extra hat. It was just as well he made that speech, you silently think as you shuffle your hats within 
themselves, because he was down to his last two hats, but you then dismiss your cynicism as one of your ever 
present character flaws.
   Later, the man beside you to your left - an elderly hoarse voiced gentleman with a furrowed brow - worry 
lines wrought deep on his forehead like plowed but arid soil, says,
“Give me your hat.”
   You look down and see you have only one hat on the table, and so reply,
“No, I only have this one left. If I give it to you, I won't be able to play anymore.”
   He sighs and says,
“When you came here without any hats, did I not give you one of my hats? I'm embarrassed that I even have to 
mention this to you.”
You feel embarrassed too. Everyone at the table averts their eyes. They also gave you hats. These are the 
very same people you've been happily playing Chinese Hats with for several hours. How could you be so 
selfish, you ask yourself, and pass your last hat to the man beside you and sit out the game just watching, 
until, some time later, another player takes pity on you and slips you one of his hats, giving you a warm pat
 on the back.
   You make a mental note to not forget that you owe this person a hat, as well as all the others. It's good 
that there are still kind people in the world, you tell yourself.
   After a while, your hats increase yet again, “You're luck's returning!” they all tell you. You don't have 
as many as before, but still, you remind yourself that if you keep playing then you're sure to get back those
 that you've lost, and ideally, many more besides.
As the game goes on though, the problem is that when you do get those eight hats back, one of the players, 
a young and spunky chap with only one hat left, throws what could only be described as a tantrum, insulting 
many of the other players and being generally disruptive, really interfering with everyone's enjoyment of the
 game.
   After trying to speak rationally with the man and telling him that he's only saying these things because 
he only has one hat left – which he profusely denies is the reason for his anger – everyone in the room 
apologizes to him for all of the things he says they've done and said wrong about him in the past, and they 
all give him a hat to make up for it, just to get it over with. This calms him, and play resumes, but now, 
you only have seven hats.
Soon, you happen to look up and notice that a new gentleman has appeared in the room. You can see by his 
expression that he's confused about the game you are all playing, a feeling you remember only too well,
   “It's Chinese Hats.” You cough, the smoke in the room briefly getting the better of you, “Why don't you 
play with us?”
   He refuses, and you have to wonder why he's so unfriendly, you play Chinese Hats, why doesn't he? You look
 at him standing there and you wonder if he thinks he's better than you, just because he's not playing. And 
by now, you've also figured out that if there are more players, then you'll have a better chance of getting 
more hats. Simple math, really. So, you suggest to everyone present that you all give him a hat each to play 
with, some cake too, because who doesn't like cake?
For a while, he just stands there. You all just ignore him - that's the best way to deal with people that 
don't want to play Chinese Hats - and very soon, he too sits down and begins playing with the hats he's been 
given, and you make a mental note that if you ever run out of hats, you can always ask him for one.
   As long as he never leaves the table, you'll never have to worry about being without a Chinese hat ever 
again.

Ren @ 1LQGWkhE7GULhj2gjjRwB9uZR7SMfGvjGV

Cont . . .